Have I ever told you about The Ping Pong Theory? Yes, I have, but no one reads my blog religiously so I’m sure it’s okay if I re-hash my theory in more detail. It’s a brilliant theory by the way. You’ll enjoy.
Personal explanation: I’m 14 years old and I had a new boyfriend. Tall, dark, handsome and pretty damn awkward for a 16 year old. He had a pretty sweet car and was okay with wearing matching outfits. He dumped me after he went to camp for the summer and realized he needed to date a girl that puts out. Uh uh. I collapsed on the floor of my bedroom wailing nonsenese “I’ll never find anyone that loves me again.” My poor dad witnessed this but didn’t know what to say to me, other than calling me ridiculous.
SO what did I do to move on? PING PONG. I started looking for traits in guys that were almost the exact opposites of my first boyfriend. I’m about six relationships in now and the distance between the paddles has shortened significantly.
Scientific explanation: If you reflect on your relationships, what works and what doesn’t, then I guarantee that you’ve applied the ping pong theory to your life. Rational people can recognize (most) of the traits in another person that make them happy/unhappy.
It’s natural to feel repelled from the qualities that lead to the break up (i.e. Bad temper, selfishness, lacks motivation, treats you badly, doesn’t know how to communicate, etc). As a result, you tend to hone in on new targets that exemplify the opposite negative traits while maintaining the positive traits your ex managed to show. Little by little, you start refining what you’re looking for until there’s very little wiggle room between ping and pong.
Not all people abide by the ping pong theory. I have one friend who never deviates from “her type” despite numerous failures and more recent lack of options (she’s picky). But, if you track the ups/downs of your relationships and approach breakups as an opportunity for self-improvement then you will use your past experiences to inform your future decisions.
I’m trying to grapple with things now, live the moment, etc. I've found the guy i want to be with. But for those who could have things change for them, well here ya go! Until next time.
Personal explanation: I’m 14 years old and I had a new boyfriend. Tall, dark, handsome and pretty damn awkward for a 16 year old. He had a pretty sweet car and was okay with wearing matching outfits. He dumped me after he went to camp for the summer and realized he needed to date a girl that puts out. Uh uh. I collapsed on the floor of my bedroom wailing nonsenese “I’ll never find anyone that loves me again.” My poor dad witnessed this but didn’t know what to say to me, other than calling me ridiculous.
SO what did I do to move on? PING PONG. I started looking for traits in guys that were almost the exact opposites of my first boyfriend. I’m about six relationships in now and the distance between the paddles has shortened significantly.
Scientific explanation: If you reflect on your relationships, what works and what doesn’t, then I guarantee that you’ve applied the ping pong theory to your life. Rational people can recognize (most) of the traits in another person that make them happy/unhappy.
It’s natural to feel repelled from the qualities that lead to the break up (i.e. Bad temper, selfishness, lacks motivation, treats you badly, doesn’t know how to communicate, etc). As a result, you tend to hone in on new targets that exemplify the opposite negative traits while maintaining the positive traits your ex managed to show. Little by little, you start refining what you’re looking for until there’s very little wiggle room between ping and pong.
Not all people abide by the ping pong theory. I have one friend who never deviates from “her type” despite numerous failures and more recent lack of options (she’s picky). But, if you track the ups/downs of your relationships and approach breakups as an opportunity for self-improvement then you will use your past experiences to inform your future decisions.
I’m trying to grapple with things now, live the moment, etc. I've found the guy i want to be with. But for those who could have things change for them, well here ya go! Until next time.