1. 19
2. Army
3. Not Me!
4. Sure do
5. Not Yet
6. Me Me Me
7. Not Anymore :)
8. Steph c. Austin
9. TEXAS
2. Army
3. Not Me!
4. Sure do
5. Not Yet
6. Me Me Me
7. Not Anymore :)
8. Steph c. Austin
9. TEXAS
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1. 19
2. Army 3. Not Me! 4. Sure do 5. Not Yet 6. Me Me Me 7. Not Anymore :) 8. Steph c. Austin 9. TEXAS
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Your Ex: There’s a reason they are called “exes” and not “currents”. They were in your life, now they’re not. End of story. Look at a tough break up as a chance to grow as a person, and be thankful for all the emotions you are feeling. At least you are feeling something, and that is beautiful.
Your “Best Friend”: Giving someone the label of “best friend” puts a lot of pressure on your interactions. Often times they will disappoint you. Just enjoy the friendship of this person, enjoy the good, leave the bad and get on with living. Your Arch Nemesis: Everyone has a person that really grinds their gears. Perhaps they stabbed you in the back; maybe you just hated them from the start. Too often, we are forced to interact with this person in one capacity or another. Stop wasting your emotional energy on this person and redirect into bettering yourself. Through improving yourself you will be able to get your come uppance on your nemesis in a healthy way. Your Relationship: You really like/love this person. A lot. Sometimes you feel consumed by thinking about them. They are everything you think you want. And you are terrified. Nothing is a turn off like desperation, so stop stressing about your love interest and let things play out how they may. Even if things go horribly, you will have saved yourself a lot of mental anguish in the process. Yourself: No one stresses you out more than yourself. Your faults, your quirks, your hopes, dreams, failures and successes can all be a source of stress. It is important to consider a larger idea when going through your day to day life: Am I doing what I need to be in order to be happy? I'm just saying. Have I ever told you about The Ping Pong Theory? Yes, I have, but no one reads my blog religiously so I’m sure it’s okay if I re-hash my theory in more detail. It’s a brilliant theory by the way. You’ll enjoy.
Personal explanation: I’m 14 years old and I had a new boyfriend. Tall, dark, handsome and pretty damn awkward for a 16 year old. He had a pretty sweet car and was okay with wearing matching outfits. He dumped me after he went to camp for the summer and realized he needed to date a girl that puts out. Uh uh. I collapsed on the floor of my bedroom wailing nonsenese “I’ll never find anyone that loves me again.” My poor dad witnessed this but didn’t know what to say to me, other than calling me ridiculous. SO what did I do to move on? PING PONG. I started looking for traits in guys that were almost the exact opposites of my first boyfriend. I’m about six relationships in now and the distance between the paddles has shortened significantly. Scientific explanation: If you reflect on your relationships, what works and what doesn’t, then I guarantee that you’ve applied the ping pong theory to your life. Rational people can recognize (most) of the traits in another person that make them happy/unhappy. It’s natural to feel repelled from the qualities that lead to the break up (i.e. Bad temper, selfishness, lacks motivation, treats you badly, doesn’t know how to communicate, etc). As a result, you tend to hone in on new targets that exemplify the opposite negative traits while maintaining the positive traits your ex managed to show. Little by little, you start refining what you’re looking for until there’s very little wiggle room between ping and pong. Not all people abide by the ping pong theory. I have one friend who never deviates from “her type” despite numerous failures and more recent lack of options (she’s picky). But, if you track the ups/downs of your relationships and approach breakups as an opportunity for self-improvement then you will use your past experiences to inform your future decisions. I’m trying to grapple with things now, live the moment, etc. I've found the guy i want to be with. But for those who could have things change for them, well here ya go! Until next time. There are three major variables in a relationship: Timing, Situation and Compatibility. How far a relationship will go is determined by the strength of each of these variables.
Timing: Timing is everything in life. Marriage is something you will have an appetite for once you’re done getting to know yourself, done being selfish and investing solely in your career/friends/life. Women are often “ready” to commit before men are. Maybe it’s a biological nesting thing, I don’t know. Regardless, the timing has to be right for both of you if you want the relationship to go the distance. Situation: Sometimes, the timing is right but the situation is not. Maybe he just went through a layoff and has to take a job in another city. Maybe she is preoccupied because her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and she can’t fathom dating anyone at the moment. I would say that situation is a tricky variable. For example, high-stress periods often create situations that are not conducive for a long-term relationship…sometimes high-stress periods bring out the best in relationships. It depends. Compatibility: This is obvious, but compatibility is at the crux of a long-term relationship. However, it’s worth noting that there are several degrees of compatibility. There’s relationship compatibility, where you simply get along with the person and have a good time. Then there’s life-long compatibility, where you and that person compliment each other in a way where you are both equipped to face the trials of establishing a home, raising a family, and supporting each other through severe challenges (i.e. illness, unemployment, etc). The best relationships have an abundance of good timing, situation and compatibility. Bad relationships have severe deficits of the three variables. However, the most dangerous scenario is when a lack of compatibility is masked by incredibly good timing and situation. Too many couples get ready because that’s the next logical step in their relationship or they are at an age where that is expected of them; years later, they find themselves staring at divorce because their compatibility was only sufficient in the context of a specific time frame or situation. Put in a different way, the couple were not compatible enough to grow together long-term. Me…my own timing was off until quite recently. While I would have had a mini panic attack at the thought of marrying someone 5 years ago, now it is something that I actively crave. Not the marrying part, but the part where you find a partner and can trust that you’ll work through whatever issue comes your way because there’s no doubt that you’ll be together x years from now. My timing is on. This post rambles on quite a bit…so, I’ll save my typing fingers for a more lucid post a few days from now. All you have to remember is that timing, situation and compatibility are important variables in a relationship. This is a really cute gift idea, maybe as a “Welcome” present for any new wives you know, or even some of the older more seasoned spouses, great for right before a deployment, or when someone needs a pick me up. Fill a goodie bag with the items listed, and print the list on a piece of card stock paper.
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